New Man
by WWII
Summary: The puddle in his lab met his face, and the rest of his body. What was this strange substance? He looked at his hands. They seemed... Younger! Was he back in time? Could he be a… New Man?


**A/N**: Well, I'll try this out. Keep with me; I'm used to action stuff…

* * *

Successful? I suppose you could call me that. Wealthy? Maybe. Was I happy? Not at all. Money couldn't buy what I wanted… Not the real kind. Not the kind I wanted. I had made choices in my time, business and life. I'm rich now because of my inventions- Things like the Time Pincher, and even Goddard. Millions of duplicates were running around now. Yes, I guess it's ironic to say this: Wealthy, at what cost?

The cost… Well, the cost was my heart. My soul. My friends, my love. All of it was gone. There was no time to hang out with friends who _weren't _as rich as you were. Handouts, those I gave away easily. But my money still wasn't friendship. Cindy left with all the rest. She hated me. She missed the Jimmy Neutron she'd grown to love. All I could say- and I remember it to this day-_Guess that's your problem, bitch._ I regret the words, every day.

The leather seat I was in was kind of lumpy. I might need to revamp the limo entirely, or perhaps give the driver a yell, sue the company. I smacked myself. _Who am I now?_ I smiled as the thought entered my head. _A heartless bastard._ Was that funny? Or was it an accurate representation of what I'd become?

"Stop here." I yelled to the driver. He quickly stepped on the brakes.

Ah, the place was familiar. It was my home. Empty, that was my first impression. Empty it was. Nobody had lived there in what, twenty years? Yeah, that was it. My parents had died after I moved out. Some say suicide, others murder, but what did I care? I got a nice sum from life insurance, and that was just what I need to get Neutron Enterprises on its feet.

I paced around the clubhouse. It was pretty humble compared to what I had now. It was where I truly began the business, however. And, as a second thought, where I had my adventures and friends… I was there on business, of course. No fun for little Jimmy. There was a minuscule chance that there were inventions left in there that I had not, well, totally sucked dry of any profit at all. Call me a heartless asshole, I called it good business.

I entered the clubhouse, moving the dusty old rug so that I could fly through the tube that led to the lower floor, where I kept my various expenditures. That feeling- Y'know, like your floating in ice cream- always feels new, every time I travel down it. Of course, I can't feel fun! That would be strictly against everything I hold dear! So, when I finally got down there, I looked around. Everything smelled dusty- exactly what I thought something that hadn't been touched in twenty years should smell like. But what was that over there? A glitter in the dirt, maybe. Or perhaps an invention that I'd forgot I made. Greedily, I stepped forward. Somehow I missed the control on the floor. Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose. Either way, I tripped, straight into a pool of… Whatever the hell it was?

Luckily, I caught myself on the sides. A little less luckily, however, my head was now deep in the stuff. Now, imagine what I'm thinking. I'm not in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I'm in a _secret lab_, full of _deadly crap._ I thought it was acid, or like some type of zombie virus or something… I guess it was neither. My face was perfectly whole, in fact… Feeling better? It was stronger, maybe even nicer looking. Certainly, a few less chins. What was this stuff?

I quickly got out, and in accordance, ran out. Back to the limo I went. I didn't even bother to bottle it- I was so afraid of what the hell that stuff could do. Now, I look back. That would have sold good. But of course…

* * *

I was finally there, at Neutron Enterprises Headquarters. The building was intimidating- the only thing on the Retroville skyline that stood higher than three stories. Yeah, it turned old Retroville into a new city- Crime, corruption, and prostitution. A cost, sure, but… It wasn't me!

My business associates met me at the door. They looked urgent, their eyes were about to bulge out of their sockets. What had happened?

"Sir!" choked one of my men.

"Your inventions- they- they all blew up! Mass manufacturing them created defects… I would have never-"

I went insane. I heard the faintest bit of sirens in the background- Were they already after me? I could only imagine how many people had died because of… _Me! _Yeah, the police was definitely after me. I knew, maybe because of the one that had pulled up in front of me. I did the only thing I could think of- Jumping in the police car, throw the cop out, and drive to my house.

I arrived in record time, no doubt. The clubhouse wasn't far away, of course. But it felt like ages. I did my usual routine- went down, and into the lab. There was the puddle, enticing as ever. I didn't doubt myself for a second. I dived in.

* * *

I woke up feeling… Comfy? Yeah, that's it. I realized I was naked, but what joy! My arms were muscular again! My thighs were slim once more! The puddle of ooze had done this! I looked over, expecting to see my room. Oddly, it wasn't. A computer sat in the corner, boy band posters lined the walls. Was that… Nail polish? What kind of alternate history was I in? I looked to my other side. Lying there, similarly naked, was Cindy. 


End file.
